Good weekend.

It was. It was actually a good weekend. Didn't do much (which might account for why it was good...), spent too much money ($100 on recreational reading books), and left a $12 tip on an $8 meal (and the waitress wasn't that nice or particularly cute)... but overall, I'm still chalking it up to a win.

Talked to Bonnie, got me thinking about my future again. No conclusions, as of yet, but I am going to go and try and take my driver's license test again. I figure after 7 years, there's little reason not to... although I don't particularly want to drive yet, I might as well get the stupid license at least. Means I won't have to keep using my passport as ID, and that's a good thing.

Been thinking about going to Japan to teach English, but I don't know if I'd be any good at it. I mean, I'm sure I'd probably be fine... I seem to be a good teacher, apparently. But I know it's not the profession for me... but then again, this doesn't have to be a forever sorta thing. I just need to do SOMETHING.

Of course, I'll have to move again, and that'd suck... and I don't have anywhere to put all my things, really. Certainly wouldn't be able to bring it all with me. Maybe I should just look into going to school somewhere far, far away. Like Halifax... I've heard good things about Halifax. Or Vancouver... maybe Victoria, just for some variation.

Hmmm. That's worth thinking about.

Anyway, gotta pretend to do work for a few hours at least. Joy.

So... now what?

Well, I have got to figure out what I'm going to do about Margaret. Not that I don't like her and all... she's plenty nice. But just... really, really not what I'm looking for. And I can't begin to count how many times I've told her I'm just not interested in her "that way"... but whatever. Such is life. And, worse come to worst, she's leaving in a month or two anyway (Germany for the rest of the summer, then Vancouver for the probably the rest of her life). I'll keep in touch with her... e-mail and such, but at least the focus will be off of me and she can move on and try to find somebody that's actually into her.

Still, this means the only person I know in London outside of work will be gone. Not sure that's a good thing... ah well. Whatever.

Looking forward to the weekend (specifically, sleeping IN on the weekend). Need the rest.

Stuff.

Nothing insightful or clever to say today either... been busy-busy-busy. Oh joy, oh bliss.

Got around to reading the last 15 issues of Invincible last night... took me about an hour. A lot of fun, really... I like the art style and most of the stuff that happens (a bit too much blood for my tastes sometimes, but whatever). I'm curious to see where it goes... a lot of crossing lines of plot that I hating waiting to see how they pan out... but they're only UP to episode 30, so I think I have to wait (and hope they keep makin' em!)

Realizations.

Things I know understand:

1. My parents are driving me crazy. I love 'em, I do... but I gotta get far, far away from them for awhile. A few years, at least. I'm thinking BC or Japan. Japan might be better... otherwise my parents might move to BC, and then it'd be the same problem all over again. If I move to Japan, I can still catch flights back to Ontario with my bro... fly to Vancouver, and from there to Toronto.

2. My job is driving me crazy. Crazier, I suppose. Tied into number 1, but I have to find something else do to with my life. Maybe teach English for a year or two... maybe go back to school... part time, even, so I could work and study at the same time. That might work. I'll have to think about that more.

3. There are more important things than money. Unless you have none.

4. There are more important things than sex. Unless you're not getting any.

5. Lost my edge. Gotta find it again somehow.

Victory for me!

Yep. No trip to Saudi Arabia. Huzzah!

I may have to go eventually, but I'm hoping not. Just not someplace I want to go, really... it's supposed to be a beautiful country, but the administration is a little... Conservative for my tastes, really.

Ah well. Would write more, but I'm exhausted. Content, but exhausted.

Quick update.

Well... sex with Bonnie is about as good as I remember it. And strange.
I miss it, though... ah well. As a last hurrah, it was very acceptable. And, besides the sex, it was really nice to see her as well... made me do a lot of thinking, though. And I certainly hope I never drink quite that much wine again... I still don't see why people like it. Very unpleasant stuff.

Gotta work on stuff with Margaret, though... I foresee another long talk.
{shrugs}
I'm just worried she's getting too attached... that would be bad. I just want to be friends, but I think I'm too charming for my own good... and when she falls, I get the feeling she does it whole-heartedly. Damn. Ah well... we'll have the "But we're just friends" talk again, and if that doesn't help then I'll give her some more space.

Anyhoo... no time to write more today (too much to do).

Sick. Joy.

Yep. I was sick yesterday. And actually sick... not my normal "Enh, I don't wanna go to work so I'll call in sick" sick. Actually feeling under the weather. Not horrible, granted, but certainly not healthy. As a result, I stayed home and rested all day... played about 12 hours of Shadow Hearts 2... good game! I'm constantly impressed by the graphics... they're not stunning or anything, but for when the game was made, they're very solid. It's the first RPG I've played in awhile that I'm looking forward to finishing... Tales of Legendia and Wild ARMs 4 will just have to wait. And Metal Gear Solid 3... and Paper Mario... and... well, you get the point. Very rewarding little game.

It's also made me want to start doing Aikido again... man, I miss doing martial arts. Now that I have the bike, I'll have to look into it, since I can, in theory, actually get places now. In theory.

I guess that's about it... Oh! Did I mention that Bonnie may be coming to town? Yeah, I'm a little excited... haven't cleaned the apartment very much yet, but that's the plan for tonight. And finishing my laundry. I should go grocery shopping, but I won't do that until tomorrow.

I hope she comes, but I have a sneaky suspicion she won't... either way, I'll keep you posted.

No way...

So Bonnie says she may come see me this weekend.

Oh my. Oh me oh my. I suddenly have fifty things that need to be done before Friday... clean my apartment, top to bottom, dust, vacuum, wash dishes, finish and fold laundry, change my sheets, buy groceries, bake stuff... I'm excited, but she'll probably cancel at the last minute... still, it's nice to have my hopes up about something! Man, it'll be great to see her...

Well, mostly great. It'll probably remind me of all the reasons I still want to be with her... and she'll probably look absolutely stunning and be witty and funny and all that. But that's okay... I sacrifice it willingly for the chance to see her again!

Relax? Really?

Bonnie wants me to relax. I believe her plan calls for poker, alcohol, and me... and sadly, out of those three things, I don't really care for any of 'em.

Of course, there's a reason for that: Poker is boring unless there's something at stake... money, clothes, gloating rights. Alcohol and I don't get along because I've got too much pent-up stuff... things that I can't figure out why I want to say them or if I should or what to whom and all that... I'm always worried about scaring people off. And I don't like losing control. And of course, me... I don't much care for me most of the time.

But the chance to see Bonnie? Yeah, I'm all about that. I have to give up, though... she's just not into me. I've got to get that through my head at some point.

I'm going to call up my brother tonight (and probably several other nights, until I get ahold of him) to ask if he has any ideas on how I can make $10,000 in three months. I'm sure he's got something in mind... he's good for that. I spent too much money this weekend (to the tune of $400), and I've GOT to start figuring out how I'm going to afford Japan. Because I really want to go.

I don't know what I'm going to do when I GET there... but that's almost secondary, really.

Anyways, work to do, countries to subjegate... you know how it is.